Facing the Storm-4

Deep rooted shock

The following week we learnt that the tumor was 19mm, and Grade 3 - the same as my previous episode, and in the same place.

Although the breast tissue had been removed in the double mastectomy and replaced with implants, my skin was preserved and used in the reconstruction surgery.

It had always nagged me, the bumpy scar tissue in this area. I had always mentioned it in my check-ups and had always been thoroughly examined and re-assured that it was scar tissue. But it was five years on now, and I had progressed to annual check-ups. So it had been eight months since I’d been examined – time enough for this little horror to get busy, seizing the longer timespan between my appointments.

Somewhere along the way I stopped checking myself properly. It felt as though every time I checked 'that place,’ I sent myself back into a fog. So I suppose I just relaxed, started feeling good again and enjoying life. I was so frustrated with myself for my relaxed attitude.

The first time I had breast cancer I only briefly asked the question ‘why me?’ – I accepted my place within the stats. But this time, after having chemotherapy, a year of Herceptin treatment (instead of just six months), a double mastectomy and reconstruction, and daily Tamoxifen hormone therapy treatment for several years… I felt defeated and frightened and I couldn’t stop myself questioning why this was happening to me again?

My first book – ‘See the Colour in the Clouds’ tells the story of my first journey with breast cancer, when my daughters were just 8yrs and 5yrs, and how they played such an important role in my recovery.

See the Colour in the Clouds – by Stefanie Sixsmith – Autobiography and Memoir
Published 30th November 2021 by Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

Kindle edition and paperback available from:
Amazon.co.uk Amazon.com
Also available from: Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd. http://www.austinmacauley.com/book/see-colour-clouds
Waterstones, Barnes & Noble and other retailers.

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